jamesolon

Stress
Life
Living
Love

I can’t keep my focus on anything. My thoughts are scattered and my attention span is rapidly disappearing. Things that used to keep my interest for days no longer spark me. I make plans and see them out but only because I have to. I stay in bed all day otherwise. What’s the point of not?

Promise
Denial
Hope
Regret

It feels like I sit next to a stranger every night. We smile and nod and one another’s daily antics. “How was work?” “ How were the girls?” “Good” “fine”. Then we say good night and retreat to our separate rooms.

Want
Need
Have
Don’t

I try to fill my life with things. Things that I covet. Things I tell myself I need. Things that I lose interest in immediately. Headphones, clothes, games, stupid things that I was never able to have. They make me hate myself. I do hate myself for being so superficial when it comes to possessions.

Sleep
Sleep
Sleep

Stress
Life
Living
Love

I can’t keep my focus on anything. My thoughts are scattered and my attention span is rapidly disappearing. Things that used to keep my interest for days no longer spark me. I make plans and see them out but only because I have to. I stay in bed all day otherwise. What’s the point of not?

Promise
Denial
Hope
Regret

It feels like I sit next to a stranger every night. We smile and nod and one another’s daily antics. “How was work?” “ How were the girls?” “Good” “fine”. Then we say good night and retreat to our separate rooms.

Want
Need
Have
Don’t

I try to fill my life with things. Things that I covet. Things I tell myself I need. Things that I lose interest in immediately. Headphones, clothes, games, stupid things that I was never able to have. They make me hate myself. I do hate myself for being so superficial when it comes to possessions.

Sleep
Sleep
Sleep

Watch less tv, listen to more music, read more books, stop drinking soda, exercise more, be present, don’t make excuses, find out where that high pitched sound is coming from, eat better, lose weight, volunteer more, call my mom more often, call my dad more often, make time for one on one things with the kids, be more productive, be more relaxed, don’t talk so much, listen more, make art, paint more, take photos, stop and smell the roses, spend less money, get rid of meaningless junk, stop buying things I don’t need, go to a shrink, play more music, write more, find a place to put the record player, don’t pretend to know everything, smile more, sleep less, set a life goal, set daily goals, follow through with what you say, stop feeling like a child when you’re in a group of adults, be more confident, don’t be cocky, make a good first impression, don’t be abrasive, don’t be such a smart ass, don’t say thing you shouldn’t, turn you’re phone off more often, take your time, skate more, always say goodbye, always say I love you, don’t take today for granted, let go of the past, look ahead, be prepared.

Watch less tv, listen to more music, read more books, stop drinking soda, exercise more, be present, don’t make excuses, find out where that high pitched sound is coming from, eat better, lose weight, volunteer more, call my mom more often, call my dad more often, make time for one on one things with the kids, be more productive, be more relaxed, don’t talk so much, listen more, make art, paint more, take photos, stop and smell the roses, spend less money, get rid of meaningless junk, stop buying things I don’t need, go to a shrink, play more music, write more, find a place to put the record player, don’t pretend to know everything, smile more, sleep less, set a life goal, set daily goals, follow through with what you say, stop feeling like a child when you’re in a group of adults, be more confident, don’t be cocky, make a good first impression, don’t be abrasive, don’t be such a smart ass, don’t say thing you shouldn’t, turn you’re phone off more often, take your time, skate more, always say goodbye, always say I love you, don’t take today for granted, let go of the past, look ahead, be prepared.

I don't really feel like a person the past few days. I'm over tired without a good reason. I stay up too late and sleep too much. I have a theory that every now and then I have to "rest" by that I mean stay up for 24 hours to get my sleep schedule back to normal.

I stopped eating dairy a few weeks ago and I've either lost 10 or 15lbs. I can't remember how much I weighed last. I imagine if I stopped drinking sodas and beer I'd probably lose 30lbs.

I don't really feel like a person the past few days. I'm over tired without a good reason. I stay up too late and sleep too much. I have a theory that every now and then I have to "rest" by that I mean stay up for 24 hours to get my sleep schedule back to normal.

I stopped eating dairy a few weeks ago and I've either lost 10 or 15lbs. I can't remember how much I weighed last. I imagine if I stopped drinking sodas and beer I'd probably lose 30lbs.

I don't know what day it is most days. I don't think I really care either. My days are all the same. I get up I take care of the kids, and I sit in y self pity for the day. I count down the time until nap time like some people count down the hours until they leave work. I know that if I'm asleep I don't have to deal with anything. I don't want to deal with anything. I'm losing interest in everything. Books, music, friends and family. I just can't be bothered. It's depression, I know that much. I take medicine for it, lots of medicine. It doesn't make me feel any better or any worse. It doesn't make me feel anything. I don't feel hopeless or anything like that, I just don't feel anything. I'm stuck in the mud with no desire to get out, it's almost as if I enjoy it. I don't I really don't. Im just overwhelmed by the thought of not being in the mud.

I don't know what day it is most days. I don't think I really care either. My days are all the same. I get up I take care of the kids, and I sit in y self pity for the day. I count down the time until nap time like some people count down the hours until they leave work. I know that if I'm asleep I don't have to deal with anything. I don't want to deal with anything. I'm losing interest in everything. Books, music, friends and family. I just can't be bothered. It's depression, I know that much. I take medicine for it, lots of medicine. It doesn't make me feel any better or any worse. It doesn't make me feel anything. I don't feel hopeless or anything like that, I just don't feel anything. I'm stuck in the mud with no desire to get out, it's almost as if I enjoy it. I don't I really don't. Im just overwhelmed by the thought of not being in the mud.

I'm 33. I'm a stay at home dad. I have no idea what I want to be when I grow up. I've always thought I've been kinda good and several things but really good at anything. What I mean is I've tried lots of things, I welded, I've had 2 successful art shows, I've had articles published on websites. But I wouldn't call myself a welder, an artist or a writer. I would call myself a father, and a husband. But I don't think that defines me. I'm having some kind of identity crisis. I'm looking for something that I can't get. Maybe I should be content with my role as a father and husband but I want something more.

I'm 33. I'm a stay at home dad. I have no idea what I want to be when I grow up. I've always thought I've been kinda good and several things but really good at anything. What I mean is I've tried lots of things, I welded, I've had 2 successful art shows, I've had articles published on websites. But I wouldn't call myself a welder, an artist or a writer. I would call myself a father, and a husband. But I don't think that defines me. I'm having some kind of identity crisis. I'm looking for something that I can't get. Maybe I should be content with my role as a father and husband but I want something more.